Its Friday guys and it’s time for a guest blogger.
Ever thought that because you’re in a Christian environment, your behaviour is fine because you’re among Christians; and so it doesn’t matter?
I have, and it wasn’t until a conversation I had with a friend not long ago, did I begin to realise how I was a poor example of God. I was falling hard and fast. I stopped and realised that who you are isn’t just witnessed by my friends and people I know; but it’s witnessed by God. The guilt that hit me after the conversation was massive because I knew deep in my heart that I had let God down.
First of all, I am not claiming that I was the most amazing Christian ever; I struggle all the time with things such as reading my bible everyday and my feelings towards people I meet. However, my passion for God is truly great, and I have so much love for him it is unreal!
This part isn’t me telling you guys how amazing I am now, but it is me telling you guys how amazing God is. The fact that he wants me and can see a way to use me for his purpose makes me feel incredible. So loved, and what hurts more is that he loved me so much he sent his son to die; and I continue to fail him. And that’s what it is, my failure to be like him.
A very close friend sat with me not too long after I started typing this, and she saw my guilt and disappointment I had toward myself. And what did she do? She put things into perspective, took away my self pity and reminded me that I should
“Trust in the Lord always, as he is your rock forever”
Isaiah 26:4
I know I’m tempted often to make myself the ‘rock’. By that I mean it’s easy to feel like I have to be the firm foundation of my faith. Firm foundation of godliness and holiness. Then I can trust myself, and then I can do what God calls me to.
Of course this is complete nonsense, and my sinful flesh is fighting for the position of God in my world. God’s the rock, he’s the one who uses us for his purposes. It’s not like we have to try our very hardest to do the right thing, because what God asks of us is our surrender, not our best effort.
Great post friend
X
I have wondered for a while how to sum up the guilt Peter felt about denying Jesus that time. But you have captured it in your own life. We strived to not give in to temptation but God has told us we will unless you we trust in Him. We continue however to strive in our ways thinking it is righteous but we are all set to fail. A great truth Tara. Wonder what you tell me to do (practically) in light of this truth?
And it is a great too
Thanks guys! Erm…unsure with what to say. Ever since i’ve looked for forgiveness from God and those involved i have found things alot easier, and now know where the line is! Cant say i enjoyed feeling as i did before hand!
Hey Tara – thanks for posting this. It kind of reminds me a little of a question that we have used at our small group when we get together – we have a list of accountability questions that we use (or used to use – it’s been a while!) and one of them is something along the lines of “has the real you been in line with the presented you this week?”
So often the two are not the same thing – and more often that not it’s around Christians that I find the presented me is different to the real me – as I try and put on a show, or even just think “stuff it”.
Andy why is it like that though? Is it a human thing or a cultural thing?